I’m celebrating the one year mark of leaving academia.
I’ve created a life I love and can thrive in the work that I do.
But I’m not here to say that you should leave your job, too.
On the contrary, stay if you want and can. Or make an empowered choice to pivot.
I needed to start with my fears that kept me in imposterism and a little narrow box of rules.

Celebrated my 1 year anniversary of quitting higher ed by hooding a former phd student of mine where I was a tenured professor because leaving can look a lot of different ways. What feels good to you?

I’ve learned to get curious with my fears and stories - to ask why they’re popping up.
To notice how my body feels when the fearful cycle gets triggered.
To invite breathe and awareness to those body places to create space in my mind.

But I haven’t always been that way.
It’s easier from this place of hindsight, lots of self-healing work, and
self-compassion, which means forgiveness, acceptance, and love. Self-compassion is critical to our wellbeing and satisfaction in life or work.

Science note about self-compassion. It is a need/practice which can get out nervous system out of flight/flight/freeze, aka threat feelings. it helps us switch to soothe or calm.

Self-criticism is the opposite of self-compassion and looks like:

labeling (I’m an imposter, I don’t belong here),
shoulding (if I were better/smarter/____, I could)
over-applying (This one mistakes means I’m a terrible writer/anything)

Fear kept me in higher ed way longer than was healthy. For me.
Yet, culture taught me all about mistrusting my own inner wisdom and body.
But look at me now!

Whatever you do though - Cultivate self-compassion somatically as a counter to imposterism stories and experiences.

A self-compassionate response accepts your experiences and vulnerabilities “as opportunities for proactive self-care” as somatic therapist Linda Graham shares in Bouncing Back. Self-compassion is understanding and tender - it’s care to self.

Because let’s reframe imposterism as only a maladaptive coping strategy to when we believe we do not have the resources needed. Research shows that folks adopt a powerless stance to hierarchies and oppressive structures. And it’s critical to start to separate the story of imposterism from who you are.

A disowning of personal power shows up when we recycle old stories/complaints, overvaluing external expectations/wants, personalize all feedback, people please or seek approval, and, ultimately, give over to imposterism.

Imposterism stories run rampart in higher education cultures that perpetuate cycles of negative self-talk, anxiety, activation, and ego-ic story telling. Those negative feedback loops make folks believe imposterism is an individual issue.

A self-compassion practice requires slowing down long enough to notice what’s happening in your own body and emotional state. Noticing the thought cycle of:

if I were more _______
if I could just _______ more, then I wouldn’t be so ______
Why can’t I do/be more _________

That self-talk is so brutal.

Taking those moments to pause and feel compassion for that part of you who is stuck in the cycle.

Self-compassion in these negative self-talk moments would look like:

Accepting mistakes as not reflective of who you are or your worthiness
Treating yourself kindly with words and actions as you would a friend
Talking to yourself or inner gremlins with “oh love, it’s okay….”

Engaging in and with your body is the practice towards radical self-love, which “is not a destination you are trying to get to; it is who you already are, and it is already working tirelessly to guide your life,” says Sonya Renee Taylor of The Body is Not an Apology.

Both/And

It’s about what you can do to practice self-compassion and release imposterism stories. And it’s about how much is perpetuated at the culture and management levels, aka, it’s not you, it’s the system.

When I was a department chair, I often to think about this quote from Dare to Lead:

“Leaders must either invest a reasonable amount of time attending to fears and feelings, or squander an unreasonable amount of time trying to managing ineffective and unproductive behavior.” (p. 113)

The more leaders can be vulnerable and talk openly about fears and feelings, then cultural shifts and wellness can happen. Only though if those leaders are genuine in their own self-work and privileges, of course. Because self-talk already can be so brutal that no one needs a well intended supervisor who doesn’t get it but uses the ‘right’ language.