Imposterism Is A Weed That Grows In Toxic Climates
For the spring Grow Boldly series, our topic is weeding out imposterism.
I want to take that concept apart first.
A weed is a plant that grows where it is not wanted or no longer needed or is a plant out of place. A weed is only a weed because the identifier says it is. Along those lines then, the thoughts of imposterism become weeds after they no longer serve their purpose - usually the one of keeping you safe - and now no longer benefit you or you no longer need/want that type of protection.
[Note to reader - the dandelion is not a weed but a valuable, edible plant that has been labeled weed.]
And then the origin of imposter syndrome dates back to a 1978 article based in research on high achieving women. Well, fast forward to today and the conversations continue, especially in academia and amongst women and minoritized populations. Yet, not enough attention is given to the underlying fears and how work place culture perpetuates them. So let’s dive in there.
But first, some foundation though about imposter syndrome as I understand it currently:
I’m done with talking about it as a syndrome, so you’ll see me reference it as a myth or experience or story. Here’s what I mean. Imposterism is a myth that we believe because we’ve cultivated stories in our brain with data points over the years to prove it’s true. We know our perceptions about ourselves aren’t exactly accurate and the bias gap allows us to look for data that reinforces what we already believe. So your brain can be an inaccurate place to hang out. This is then why I like the phrase ‘imposter experience’ because as a story in our brain, we can rewire and rewrite with new data points and behaviors.
It is NOT a woman’s issue but impacts folks across all identities fairly evenly. If somehow you’ve missed this amazing work by Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey on Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome
It hits folks with greater record of success more and largely (but not always) deals with fear of failure however it is way more complimented or overdetermined. There’s some newer solid research on this and for a good overview read the chapter called, “I don’t deserve to be here” in Presence by Amy Cuddy.
The toxic cycle perpetuates because when we feel we aren’t good enough, we accept a powerlessness stance where we then perpetuate hierarchical, disadvantaging structures rather than enacting change (Van der Toorn et al, 2015). We then believe imposterism is an individual issue - our problem - but that’s only a maladaptive coping strategy because we don’t believe we have the resources to change it.
We learn to mistrust our own inner wisdom which then defaults to our practice of disembodiment or disassociation - and I love to talk about how higher ed folks are super disconnected from their own bodies. This keeps us in cycles of negative self-talk, anxiety, activation, and ego-ic story telling. This keeps us believing systemic stories of not good enough, which shows up in academia as imposter syndrome and as a ‘woman’s issue’.
Annnnnnnnnnd, let’s put some light on the issues that are created or perpetuated by a work culture that prioritizes metrics, profits, and outputs over human-based wellbeing.
Higher ed wins with folks feeling like imposters because it fuels behaviors that benefit them, such as:
Overworking - which I’ll talk more on next week
Constant pursuit of success fueled by fear of failing and seeing no success as good enough
Shift of validation to external sources like peer reviews, student teaching evaluations, colleagues opinion’s etc
Not enough-ing leads to overworking and perfectionist behaviors that give away work for free or saves higher ed costs because you’re doing more than one job
Over credentialing and gathering of bullet points on a CV to justify worthiness and expert status
What else do you see?
Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey’s work shows that as white men progress in their careers, their feelings of doubt usually abate as their work and intelligence are validated over time. They’re able to find role models who are like them — and others rarely question their competence, contributions, or leadership style. Women experience the opposite. Even if women demonstrate strength, ambition, and resilience, daily battles with microaggressions, especially expectations and assumptions formed by stereotypes and racism, often push them down. Imposter syndrome as a concept fails to capture this dynamic and puts the onus on women to deal with the effects.
I mean. Fuck, right.
What resonates with you about this?
Where is imposterism no longer serving your goals or vision?
What feels like a weed that needs to be pulled out?
To wrap up for now, let’s stop beating ourselves up at the individual level. Yes, there are individual level issues and choices that can be made as we will talk about over this season’s Grow Boldly. And next week I’ll talk more about what overworking has to do with this and how to start getting out of that pattern.
