Ritual for Letting Go of 2019 and the Decade

Confession - I’ve struggle a little with all the social media posts this week on “look at what I’ve done with my decade/year” or “new decade/year – new me.”  If that’s your thing, awesome, but honestly, I’m not in that space this go around. And that’s just perfect for me, so I thought maybe some of you aren’t there either.

For me, I guess it’s because my decade ends on backside of a few years of transformation and change rather than a full immersion from the cocoon of metamorphosis. I can see all the work I’ve done and I’m grateful for every joyous and painful experience. And this marker of time (solar Gregorian time, anyway), offers an opportunity and I love a good time of some self-work!  

Saying that then, it’s not surprising that I woke up this morning recalling a little process I’ve done on occasions of new moons and other moments that called in change. And, it involves fire and, I mean, who doesn’t like to burn shit?! Or I guess I can speak for myself, I DO!

In honor of New Year’s Eve, I wanted to share a ritual for letting go or releasing old beliefs, situations, relationships, attachments, whatever you don’t want to bring into 2020. Rituals are important to the humxn experience as they invite in reflection, intentional living, and being present in the moment and all that life has to offer (the good, the bad, and the ugly – although I really believe it’s all beautiful).

Note: This practice doesn’t belong to me – it’s an old one of many cultures and peoples in various forms and iterations. With that, I ask that we engage with reverence and gratitude to the practice, to our intentions, and to ancestors near and far.

Supplies and set up
·      Strips of paper and pen
·      Lighter/matches
·      A place to burn
(Disclaimer: You agree not to hold me responsible for anything else you accidentally or purposefully burn. While actual fires are lovely, you can also use safely a kitchen sink or large bowl – with water for putting it out nearby. Be smart.)
·      Anything else that brings you groundedness or calm or you just like around you – I like hot tea, candles, incense (cedar and sage), or nothing

Reflection questions
·      What are a few situations, beliefs, or things that have you been clinging on to that you’re ready to move on from?
·      What were you the least satisfied with this last year or decade?
·      What are the feelings in your body that get attached to each?
·      What lesson did that offer you? And what sense of gratitude are you able to give it back?
·      How would you rather feel in your body as you release or let it go?

Basic process
·      Set up your situation with everything you need – go as witchy to not as you like – meaning you can have an altar or you can just have your fire
·      Write out on the strips of paper anything that you want to let go of from your reflection above.
·      Imagine as you write the word or statement that you could imbue that paper will all the context and feelings of it.
·      After putting it into the fire, offer something of gratitude.
·      Watch it burn, baby!

A note on gratitude

All things we cling to have given us something – they have served us in the ways they knew how – and for that, we let it them go with a sense of gratitude. Example, I’ve burned names of people before and that may sound harsh or violent, or at least it did to me at first. But I wasn’t even necessarily ending the relationship with them, per se, but rather of the clinginess that existed energetically between us. In thanking that clingy cord that attached us – I could offer gratitude for what it gave me. Perhaps it gave me satisfaction in fulfilling some neediness I held or it served me quite directly or concretely by giving me someone to do something with. Whatever the reason, if you can locate how the belief, person, situation, benefited you, then you can also give thanks to it and let it go cleanly and without resentments or attachments. If you aren’t sure, that’s okay too and you can simply offer thanks.  

Close it out

Whatever way you choose to wrap up this year and decade or not, is just right for you. I find this time of the year invokes so much pressure, comparison, and performance that, for me anyway, no longer serve my sense of peace and calm. I guess what I’m letting go of is the need for external validation, approval, and competition. In writing that, it feels freer already - I release a little bit more of that socialized need for external markers of worthiness.

When I put myself back into therapy about 4-ish years ago just before my breakdowns/breakthroughs/breakopens started, I said at our first session that I wanted to not give a fuck about what people thought. Fast forward to the end of the decade. Here I am. Showing up for myself, as myself. Posting publicly my shit with the hope it helps others. Change takes times and ritual gives me a chance to see how far I’ve come. I don’t know about you but I’m ready to burn that shit up and emerge from the flames!

I raise my tea cup to you all and wish you a peaceful letting go of all that you don’t want to keep anymore! Be well friends! Play with fire safely!

PS. it’s can be an all age event or solo - my 6 yo helped get ready this morning with drawing a candle picture, cutting up the paper strips and, of course, bringing the extra love to it…