Kicking Off Winter with Different Types of Rest

self-care

Dec 23

When I was in the higher ed cycle, break time meant catch up time. Add on top of that, being a mom meant breaks were for creating memories with the kiddo also.

As I heal from my higher ed time, I have learned that I am a pro at:

Adding more things to do than I want
Doing so at an unrealistically high expectation levels
Sprinkling it all with guilt when I can’t meet the workload and expectations level.

I would tell folks that academia was great in its flexibility that allowed me to work my 60 hour work each week whenever I wanted. That meant break times like winter and summer were for catching up on those to-do lists that overflowed with shit I should’ve said ‘no’ to or reprioritized for some other time.

My to-do lists were always more than one person could reasonably do. As I heal from higher ed, I see so much more clearly the pattern of overcommitting and overworking. Driven a lot by childhood patterns of people pleasing and toxic perfectionism in ways that was never achievable because the expectation bar only continued to move higher and higher in very unrealistic ways. Then fueled by a work culture that is insatiable and shame-driving to squeeze more and more out of folks.

What I am (un)/(re)learning is how to live in Nature’s seasonal cycles instead. This is hard in a Western capitalistic system/culture that wants high levels of productivity all the time. So. This season as we’ve crossed over Winter Solstice, I’m embracing the season of darkness with rest. I didn’t learn until after my breakdowns break-opens, that there are many types of rest we need.

I’ve been exploring the seven types of rest: physical, mental, emotional, social, sensory, creative and spiritual. With these in mind I’ve planned my winter break differently - loosely scheduling my days for connection/disconnection, spaciousness, and proactive planning rather than catching up.

Some things I’ve scheduled to do or have done:

I took the two weeks off from coaching clients - this was a hard one as a people pleaser and from higher ed culture - I learned to always be accessible to clients/students. Deep breath, Tamara, you got this. This one is for the mental rest.
Took a mini vacation up to YMCA in the Rockies with the kiddo and another mom and kids. First trip since before the pandemic. We played. This touched many types of rest: creative (with the play and crafts); social (with another mom friend with whom I can be me), and spiritual rest (the mountains and rivers soothe my soul and sensory rest needs).
I am proactively planning out the next quarter for my business so that my energy and time in 2022 is confident and organized rather than procrastinating and last minute frantic. This fulfills my mental and emotional rest needs as it allows me to ‘check out’ of work once I’m done for the day so that I can shift to mom mode in the evenings.
My days have loose schedules with the option for long dog walks or hikes, solo or with a friend (in person or on the phone), or lounging around the house in my pjs all day. I’m learning to listen to what my body and soul need rather than what I feel I ‘should’ do. And then honoring that choice without the guilt. I’m a work in progress. This is the physical rest and sensory too.
I’m planning a no social media break for xmas eve through my birthday. While that’s only 3 days, it’s 3 days more than I usually do outside of backpacking times in the summer. This feels like a needed creative and spiritual break. While I love IG (less so the FB connection), seeing other’s posts infiltrates my own creative ideas and ego thoughts.

And with that last one, I’ll get this posted so that I can do that before midnight tonight when I’ll switch out of connection for some off-social rest.

Remember that you can still register for the weeklong Grow Boldly series in January on Rest & Resilience. I’ll send out the slides from our December intro to Rest for your review.

In the winter series of Grow Boldly, we invite in the theme of Rest & Resilience. With some thoughtful intentionality and flexible planning your rest can grow vibrant roots of resilience to bloom in the spring. Winter Grow BOLDLY

Jan 10-14 & Feb 16 at noon mst/1CST/2EST online

sign up at www.tamarayakaboski.com/grow-boldly

What types of rest are you craving this winter?