Embracing a Life of Transformations as Womxn in the (Patriarchal) World

What are your small transformation stories that affect your life or how you view your story?

This question from life coaching prompted a forgotten memory from junior high when I started community theatre. For an acting class, I was assigned to sing Helen Reddy’s 1971 I Am Woman song, which came out before I was born, thank you very much. What a strange song for a young teen girl such as myself to have performed. I can’t recall what junior-high-Tammy thought then, but I know my feminist core goes way back to before I could articulate it.

That song was wise beyond my naïve years; and, is a timeless message of transformation and strength. Decades later, when I (re)watched that video of me signing it (no, I won’t be sharing that), I’m struck by the message of womxn’s wisdom and transformation when they/we embrace our inner strength and knowledge within a world of patriarchy and oppression. (Note: I believe patriarchy is harmful to all humxns and animals so the messages in this do not only apply to womxn-identifying folx).

The song begins with the moment of recognition that spurs personal transformation:
I know too much to go back an’ pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again

The moments where I can see the behaviors and patterns I have engaged in – that awareness, followed then by knowing I want to stop old patterns. I reflect on this now, at the end of 2019 when I have a year’s worth of journals to analyze (always a researcher at heart).

I’m so grateful to my daily practice of journaling. Looking back at a year ago, I (re)read my suffering and struggle to pick myself up off the proverbial floor. Along with a promise to change and transform for real this time so I don’t end up back there. This is our life’s work – the continual transformation of ourselves to end our own suffering that comes from allowing other’s to have power over us rather than live from and in our own power.

The refrain I see as something of the plight of collective (un)consciousness of womxn:
Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman

Some of the all-too-common narratives of this collective pain are of divorce/breakups, loss of loved ones, rampant sexual harassment/abuse/violence, physical ailments of autoimmune, thyroid, and hormonal issue, and a general unworthiness and self-hatred.

The power is in transforming into greatness through experience to change the system through collective uplifting and doing our real deep soul’s work:
You can bend but never break me
'Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

I witness a world that is most fearful of womxn who are strong because they know themselves and are ready to  override the collective oppression from society, family, friends, lovers, and partners.

It’s time to sit down and do work on ‘what is your calling in this lifetime?’ For me, it is so much how the song ends:
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land

I used to fight in hopes of creating change, now I LOVE as empowerment for change. Love as anti-patriarchy (thank you, bell hooks, for this concept). Womxn’s self-awareness and empowerment has been a consistent theme through my life. My calling relates to supporting and creating change for myself and for other womxn-identifying folx on and for this planet. I want to help womxn love themselves again because it is through pure non-Egoic love that we heal ourselves and the Earth.

Lastly, music is important to the soul and can be a catalyst for (re)writing the stories that create meaning in our lives. Have you ever set the influential moments of your life to songs? What would your life soundtrack be? What songs illuminate your calling? How do you want to transform in 2020?

PS I have serious pants envy with hers in the video. I totally had a pair just like that in my junior year of college, which would not be surprising to some of you who know me well. I miss those jeans…