Mid-Life/Mid-Career Crisis – Follow Your Path and Make it Beautiful!

Jul 31

Welcome to (almost) August…that bittersweet time in the education world where faculty, administrators, and students alike all realize they need to start planning for fall semester while milking the last of summer goodness.

Since it’s still summer, I have a few moments to reflect on my relationship to this planning/prep time. I’m both (1) starting my 13th year in this career as a university professor and (2) combining it with my 1st year as an entrepreneur with my newly formed life coaching business – exciting!!! ( if you haven’t, check me out at www.tamarayakaboski.com)

Old meets New – New reshapes Old
– it’s an amazing path but isn’t always or often pretty!

Allow me to introduce the truth about myself….(drum roll?)

I’ve been in mid-career crisis for the last three years and conflicted about it for about 3 additional years before that – timed, no surprise to many, with the onset of motherhood. And probably more years before that without consciousness of my impending mid-life-ness.

So when this article crossed my newsfeed about why most of us experience a midlife crisis, I paused to read. They report that people, starting in their 30s and going through their 50s, experience disappointments in what they thought their life or career path would be and diminishing aspirations of what it could be.

Essentially, the research shows that REGARDLESS of you or your job, mid-life crisis and dissatisfaction with your career happens. It even seems to suggest that it is a biological necessity for your own personal development. (Maybe I’m reading into that last part and think that the research should show that!)

Either way, that feels freeing! This arduous path has been normal! PHEWWWW…

A super big slice of my crisis-pie (you pick if it’s a pizza or dessert pie) is that what I want in my life has changed since I started my work in ‘the real world’ 20 years ago. Not so shocking when I put it that way.

My sabbatical year (fall 2017-spring 2018) really brought a lot to light for me. I even journaled a “Dear John” letter to higher education to mark my changing relationship with it. I wasn’t leaving it or my career but I was reshaping my perspective and approach to it. Because once I decided to follow my inner voice rather than outward expectations (real and made up), I was able to tune into what was waiting for me on the journey of mid-life. I fully believe that this crisis is here for my own personal good to teach me what my values are and to help me negotiate how I want to enact them in this second, better part of life!

Some of what I’ve realized through this Mid-Life Crisis Path are:

· I have a kid whom I want to spend time with as an active part of her journey before it’s time for her to have her own more separate one. I value expressing my love through quality time doing things we enjoy because we embrace each other’s company.

· I love myself and need to be making daily decisions that express that love. I value compassion.

· I love learning and want to engage in new and old hobbies. There’s so much I want to learn about or experience once or lots of times. I value experience.

· I learn about myself every time I do something new or change my perspective and how amazing this feeling of continual growth and change is. My soul craves more of this! I value growth.

· I love reading and my tastes have expanded beyond books about higher education. And there are TONS of books, people! I value the written art form.

· In my daily work, I want to be doing things that matter and that make the world, to some degree, better. Right now, writing this blog feels more important than writing another journal article that only a few people will read and is obsure. I value community and contribution.

· I live in an aging body the reminds me of a need to do more than slump at a computer all day. Hence my yoga training and movement. I value the humanness of my body.

· I’m more aware of the need for mind-body connection because of this wonderful body that is quick to remind me when I’m not grounded. I value inner peace.

· And with that, is the simple mortal realization that I am near-ish the mid-point of my life – may I live a long and healthy life. I want to be LIVING AND LOVING FULLY! I value life and love!

It’s not all rainbows and sunshine, of course. I have mental blocks, old patterns, societal messages, and other experiences that pop up to teach me more lessons and see if I’m really ready for change. It’s a daily ask from the Universe if I’m still committed to being on this path. Life coaching and my related self-work has been amazing at helping me break down these lessons.

This Mid-Life/Mid-Career Crisis, for me, DID start out in crisis mode, but it’s turned into opportunities in abundance and beauty. I am forever grateful for these shifts and opportunities.

I hope you all can embark on your own Mid-Life/Mid-Career Crisis Path with some acceptance and willingness!

If you have, I’d love to hear what it’s taught you.

And if you want to shift your perspective of yours, then let’s coach and do this together! It takes a community!