Interrupting your patterns of overing is so necessary
I see your care, your longing, your overing, your efforts, your desire for something more whole. I see you.
Which is why I want to share some perspective shifts, tools, and strategies that will help you shift out of Overing and toward Aligned Action. And we’re going to start with WHY interrupting our patterns of overing is so necessary. I'll be brutally honest and to the point first:
You have worth beyond production. Culture and capitalism will tell you otherwise. And. You can choose to shift out of external achieving/validation and center yourself back in your life. You can slow down, feel more purpose and joy so that you take aligned action that cultivates a meaningful impact in the world.
The shift out of overing can create what one client described as finding “liberation within the system.”
We all have realities and responsibilities. And you also can take back your power and re-center yourself in your own life.
For many of the high-achieving folks I know, much of our identity and our world revolves around our work. It’s what we are taught and see role modeled as the only morally superior choice.
We become defined by how we serve others through our work, how much we produce -- overinvesting in other’s success and underinvesting, or not investing at all, in our own. Work, then, is at the center of our lives, and leads to so much overing. And eventually burnout, no motivation, loss of enjoyment, blah.
What if we make a shift, so work is a support and a piece of puzzle? What if you (and your wants and needs and desires and all your you-ness) move to the center?
That liberating shift puts work or your J-O-B back where it belongs – as one of the vehicles for how you serve others with your awesome rather than as the thing that depletes your gifts and robs you of joy.
Do you feel what that shift offers? What do you see as the possibilities in that shift?
And I know that this shift of moving work out of your main identity or the center of your world invites much pushback from all sorts of places. We get advice that we just need to figure out how to “balance” everything better or hack the rest of our lives so that we can continue to produce and serve at work.
I call bullshitery. I’m so over toxic productivity and harmful individualistic, self-sacrificing culture. These systems are so pervasive and so harmful.
So what are we to do when these beliefs and other harmful systems are at play? How do we find liberation while navigating with the realities of a f’ed up system and onslaught of economic and racial injustices?
You figure out how to start opting out - choice by choice by choice.
To opt out is to conserve your energy to redirect it to what really matters in your life and the potential of who we can be if we come together as a community.
You figure out where you have agency. And you start shifting yourself back to the center even when the voice inside your head says it’s too hard. You take radical responsibility for yourself and stop waiting for someone else to change things for you. To feel empowered you must choose action. Disempowerment partners with passive choice (aka thinking you're not making a choice).
Freedom to live and love your life and work requires embodied, empowered choices about how to spend and share your time, energy, and wisdom.
Shifting out of your patterns of overing, figuring out who truly you are and what you want when your work is no longer your main identity – it can all feel scary AF.
You deserve to be at the center of your life. And I totally get it if making that shift feels terrifying or overwhelming or both.
Take a deep breath and start anyway.
It's the consistent nudges that create big shifts over time.
Here are a few ways you can start:
Brainstorm a list of things you love to do. (This is enough for now!)
You can also identify one thing that brings you joy and take five minutes to do that each day this week. Add it your calendar or set yourself a reminder.
Practice small ways to get yourself back into your body: Breath awareness, a body scan, progressive muscle relaxation, get outside and feel the ground or trees.
Just start.
P.S. If you’re ready to get to work now and looking for some dedicated, focused support, check out my Aligned Action Intensives. Scheduling yourself a day to focus on you might be just the thing you need.